In Through The Out Door

I don’t know what’s going on with me. I have noticed that the times I’m most depressed, I don’t have a migraine. Could the depression be part of the prodrome? Is it that the chemicals usually involved in my headache don’t have anything else to do? Bored serotonin, making me miserable.

Until recently I don’t remember depression hurting. Last night the area of my heart physically hurt, as did the area below my ribs. I couldn’t do anything but cocoon myself. I hate that I make the Sir worry so much, and end up spending even less time with the kids. John thinks I should tell the Doc on Thursday that Cymbalta isn’t working anymore. But I think it is; I’m still going to get depressed sometimes. Plus going off of it is pure agony, and so too would be trying a new psych med. They seem to either make my head worse, or the depression worse.

The deadline is getting closer for this amazing job at the University. John is going to finish the cover letter and tweak his resume today, then send it to someone (an insider) who can look over it, tell him what to fix, and maybe let him know if the job was just listed because of legality issues and someone’s already chosen. If all goes well he will go in person to turn everything in like tomorrow.

This job pays a lot. For us. This job would completely change our lives. It is too much to hope for, so while I am staying positive and optimistic, I am also not hoping. If that makes sense.

My headache situation is not good. Somehow (unless I misplaced a whole card of them) I’ve gone through 20 Imitrex in 10 days. I went to the ER once during that time. I was going to try to write more but I think my head’s a little too pricky for that right now. I’m trying to avoid taking one of my last Imitrex. Love. ❤


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