Depletion

No one can help me.

Not my partner

Not my parents

Not my friends

Not my children

Not my doctors

Not my dog

Not god.

Everyone is tired

At the end of the ropes with which

I tie them to me.

I am tired of asking for support

Favors, babysitting,

Rearrangement of schedules,

For people to be strong for me

When they have their own struggles.

I am the one who has to fight

This debilitating, invisible pain

The never ending battle for care

And doctors who believe in me

And right now

I feel as though I just can’t

Do it anymore.

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5 thoughts on “Depletion

  1. Try to think if there was something you changed or something you ate that may have caused you to get bad again. I know it stays bad soooo long, it feels dark and we feel so alone, but when we aren’t alone here. You are going to feel better soon. Maybe you just need a medicine change. That’s the thing with migraines ~ we become resistant. I’ve added gabapentin and I feel so much better. It really is like a miracle.

    • Thanks. Usually I don’t feel this hopeless unless I can’t identify anything like that ~ which I can’t ~ and add not having a good care plan and a partner with PTSD exacerbated by my condition who works his ass off & never takes the kids places on days off, and waiting desperately for my SSI payments to start but there is always one more piece of financial BS they need… it’s only when things are THIS bad that I want to give up. But I’m not so far gone that I’d try to do myself in or anything. I love my family too much to do that to them. Thank you for caring. xo

    • Oh! But, so happy Gabapentin is working for you! How wonderful! I can’t take any meds in that class, nor beta or CC blockers, and all the tricyclics / SNRIs did nothing. I am on a combo of supplements and Periactin. The couple preventatives that worked for me without deathly side effects have been pulled from the market. I’ll cross my fingers that your new regimen keeps working! ~ elizabeth

  2. I feel like this a lot at the moment and I don’t even suffer from migraines, so I can’t imagine how you do it.

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