Today is my birthday. In general, like many adults, I dread this day every year. Not because I have a problem with my age so much as the marking of another 365 days gone by, facing where I am in juxtaposition with where I feel I should be, or thought I would be. I am still facing blogger’s block; have mentally started lots of posts but can’t seem to cross the bridge from the entries’ genesis in my head to tapping the words out onto my phone’s WordPress app and publishing them.
A significant fact is that my headaches remain quite improved, with pain above a 6-7 being rare. Another significant fact is that emotionally and financially my life is in a total shambles. However, as Dr Mac reminded me yesterday, things are waaaay better now than they were last year at this time. We’d just finally given up on the move but yet we’d disposed of much of the house through a series of garage sales. We were both hopelessly unemployed, months away from my applications for Disability and Medicaid, as well as J’s successful job search. I was still careening along with Dr P as he prescribed more and more meds without direction and my pain and anxiety continued to increase like an avalanche roaring down The North Mountain.
13 months ago, we adopted Asia Dot, our smooth collie mix. I believe she holds some sort of magic for our family. Since making that decision and bringing home our new four-pawed family member, we wrenched ourselves free of the all-consuming torrent of ice and snow and began the process of painstakingly climbing back up into the hazy sunlight, Asia nosing us along like the herder she is.
And so it feels appropriate to conclude this marking-time post by introducing our NEWEST four-pawed family member: a silver tabby boy kitten who jumped through J’s open car window while he was at a client appointment in a rural area of the county. “Well, he does need a home,” his client’s grandma pointed out, explaining that they own the beautiful, elegant mama cat and had three of her litter inside and two outside. And this baby boy is beautiful. J fell hard for him. What do you do when an animal chooses you? True, we were broker than broke, but we needed to smile. J drove home with a tiny stowaway, and within five minutes of receiving a text with a picture of this tiny, unexpected passenger huddled in the car’s back window, the girls and I had named him Kenya Sparkles and were overcome with giddy joy.
J made me a gluten free birthday cake and picked out some pretty rad gifts: the DVD set of True Detective. A Bluetooth smartphone camera remote and old fashioned pink Hello Kitty receiver. A jar full of the tiny striped shells and driftwood we collected last month at the lake. Tomorrow X starts 4th grade and Friday Zo starts kindergarten. 124 people posted birthday wishes on my Facebook timeline. I made it back over to Paul’s house again, though it was a very brief visit. Thursday I am for the first time having a tattoo covered up/ altered, in fact my very first tattoo, a rather crude crescent moon with stars on my right ankle transformed into an eclipsed super moon with the Nirvana lyric “all in all is all we are” wrapping around like a loopy black anklet. And J has completed the first final draft, the Introduction, of the graphic novel on which we’re collaborating, 365 Days Of Migraine.
Look out, you rock-and-rollers.