365 Days of Migraine: Day 8 “PANIC (new moon)”

Right now, I have a headache. I had a small one this morning, for which I took half an imitrex, and I felt good about that, considering yesterday I needed two.

At noon, I went to the tattoo shop to get my very first tattoo, a crescent moon I acquired in 1996, covered by an eclipsed moon with an anklet of loopy text, a line from Nirvana: “all in all is all we are.” It was a very good experience, but a few hours after getting home I started to feel sick. I have taken another imitrex and a half, the girls are home from my parents’ and I fixed them a quick dinner and am now waiting for J to get home and then I will go to bed. Counting the hours until I can pick up my Percocet on Friday.

Here is yesterday’s migraine365 page:

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Yesterday, in a way I’m sure is familiar to other marrieds with one disabled partner and one who is altruistically employed, we discussed things like paper divorce, which would increase my SSI payment by $600 per month, and bankruptcy, from which we’d gain I’m not exactly sure what. But we got ourselves into such a bad, panicky state we could barely look at one another. I told J to go down to the bank to talk about refinancing the house; and I went to the utilities office to find out what help we could get with our power. We learned a lot, and do feel somewhat better today.

We are also continuing to be excited about the 365 Days of Migraine project. We’ve gotten some very positive feedback, and we love doing it. It helps us to communicate better, and we like feeling as though we are making a difference to others’ lives.

Tomorrow I need to call this new neurologist’s office. I am always so hesitant about bringing new doctors into my life; it’s scary, because I depend on them so much. But anything would be better than what I have now. Almost.

I am also waiting to hear back about a study I might participate in with the new CGRP drugs at MHNI. For one of them, I’d need to stop taking my daily magnesium, B2, Feverfew, and Periactin. But I am super eager to be part of something so exciting to the migraine community: new preventatives developed just for migraine. Instead of off-label like beta blockers, tricyclics, and anti-seizure meds. I am hoping if I do participate, I will be able to blog about the experience…

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Text of Page:
August 26 2014 | Day 8 “PANIC (new moon)” | Migraine365 | Wake Up | stressful appointment | MONEY | Bath time | family time | new moon |

**addendum: I feel I should explain why I was “able” to get a new tattoo the day after discussing divorce with J as a possible solution to our financial insolvency. It is a bit like the food stamp / smart phone argument, which makes me sick to my stomach. Poor enough to need government help? Then you don’t get nice things. Even if you got them before the crisis. Ugh… anyway, in this case, I traded a spa gift certificate to my mom for cash, and squirreled that money away for my birthday. I did try to insist to J that I wouldn’t do it but he said, wisely, that the money would not even cover our monthly car payment and the impact on my psyche of not getting the tattoo would be far worse than any immediate help it would bring. “One hundred dollars will not make or break us either way,” he said, “but the tattoo will make or break YOU.”

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6 thoughts on “365 Days of Migraine: Day 8 “PANIC (new moon)”

  1. I feel your pain! A migraine nearly every day during the last two weeks for me. Two pills in one day earlier this week, as it was a “#10!” The weather here is so hot and humid, like a steam-bath. I’m sure it has something to do with it in my case. Blessings to you and feel better soon.

  2. Hi,
    The programs you comment on count household composition. So, divorce would not necessarily be the loophole you think. You would still be lying about your household composition and many states have common law marriage type laws, especially for social service programs where they typically ask questions like “Does anyone help you pay rent?” I lived with my brother’s family briefly and lost 2/3rds of my income. In that situation, they used a formula to come up with a made up rent payment that they felt my brother provided for me. This, of course, was horrible and I had to move out.
    The other is bankruptcy. Avoid like the plague if you can. 10 years of being denied everything and the few times I got credit or loans, interest rates near 30% range. I avoided a second bankruptcy by using a credit counseling service that consolidated all of my debtors to one payment an lowered interest/APR.

    Sorry, that’s so negative sounding, but I don’t know how timeL gúbx vmxff

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