Day 26, “everyday”

Today I woke up feeling like total crap. No one (including X) wanted to go to
horse lessons, but I had to, because J has become very afraid of X riding. So I didn’t put any makeup or bra on and decided I wasn’t going to get out of the car. I felt awful. I sat and listened to music and then when X came running out smiling, I felt glad and started the car. It didn’t start. I had been listening to the radio and charging my phone and drained the battery and hadn’t even thought about it. I couldn’t fucking believe it. I told X what had happened and told her to go back into the barn to watch the next lesson, and started crying as soon as she was gone because I knew I couldn’t get out and act civil and get the help I needed, I was a mess. I just didn’t have it in me. So J sighed on the phone and was like, okay, I’ll drive Zo out and jump it.

Through my open window, I heard the instructor say “What happened?” And I was just sitting in the car crying. She came out and said “you have a headache right? Don’t worry we can take care of this.” So I called J back and pretty soon the instructor’s husband pulled their car over and had it jumped. I just felt sooooo stupid. So then we drove home. I have been sleeping and resting and brooding ever since.

Here is today’s (yesterday’s) Migraine365 page.

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Text of Page:
09.14.14 | everyday Day 26 | Migraine365 | Even when I seem fine, the pain is percolating under the surface. I interact with my family, and I engage. But I still hurt. | Saturday again. A day for cleaning, and playing, inside and out. X had a friend over. |

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