I love Fall, but 60’s and cloudy is a shitty combination. It’s chilly and damp, damp that seeps into your bones, without real rain, but it seems to always be threatening. I HATE when it’s hot, I do. But the weather the last few days seems wrapped up in how I’m feeling, which is dark, like my very soul aches. And I’m sick. It’s one of those times where I don’t know whether I have a bad cold, some other type of virus, or a weird migraine. At least I know it’s not side effects, since I haven’t started any new meds… although I did miss a couple doses of Cymbalta last week, and a couple doses of Periactin over the weekend. I was in bed most of the day yesterday and most of the day today.
J had the meeting at the bank this morning to discuss refinancing, which is the main thing that came out of our divorce / bankruptcy discussion last month. Unfortunately, the dude told J that no drastic measures could be taken regarding the status of our house and mortgage because we’re in good standing with the BANK. But, we also can’t refinance because J was delinquent with a student loan recently. I don’t understand it and just want to curl up and cry and never get up again. We DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY. So of COURSE we have to choose which bills we pay. I sent him with my Disability, Medicaid and food assistance info as well and of course none of that made any damn difference. J is supposed to call a few numbers to try to get those items removed from our credit report. But in the meantime, half of his salary still goes to the mortgage.
We are working on this Migraine365 project with the best of intentions – for awareness, to help other families going through similar struggles – but also to maybe make money in the future. Money we can be proud of and feel good about. We hope to put it on Kickstarter and get it published. But because it is a page a day, the book won’t be completed for 11 months. In the meantime we have prints on etsy for $10 and the t-shirts.
Here is yesterday’s page:
Text of Page:
09.14.14 | Day 27: Horse Lessons | Migraine365 | “I wish you had seen it Mama, I cantered!” -X | I wasn’t feeling well, but X riding is scary for J so I took her to lessons. Sat in car. | I listened to music. When the lesson was over, the car WOULDN’T START. | I couldn’t get out of the car. It was like I’d forgotten how to function in the real world. | I felt so dumb. I cried. They helped + we drove home. |