I just basically want everyone to know that my family and I will be okay. Everyone has things that go wrong. Everyone gets sick. Everyone has trouble now and then with government red tape. People change jobs. All of it is possible to deal with and all of it is way better than losing a child, or a spouse. Or losing your home, or starving. Even though we are struggling financially (understatement) we have support which allows us to eat, and live, and even keep the girls enrolled in their activities.
X got a small role in our Youth Theatre group’s fall production, a Dr Seuss twist on Romeo and Juliet. It’s probably the smallest role in the cast, an unnamed Capulet (Capitulate, in this version) Servant, but she doesn’t care at all. She’s just happy to be involved. In this, I could learn a lot from her.
My appointment with my pain specialist also went well.
Dealing with Medicare and Medicaid today was a total failure, but that isn’t surprising. Medicare said Medicaid would drop me if I un-enrolled from Medicare, and Medicaid said they couldn’t help me at all, that “you have to understand ma’am, the two programs are completely separate” and didn’t seem to understand at all what I was talking about. I will need to go in person to my local office. When anything providing my medical support starts to break down, I completely freak, so John said he would be the one to go into the office since he is much less likely to break down sobbing trying to explain the situation. Unfortunately my wonderful pain therapist doesn’t take Medicare and won’t see me until the situation is resolved, which was a disappointment to me to say the least. I have little hope that all this bullshit will be fixed by Monday, so I will have to cancel that appointment; Dr Mac suggested someone else which I don’t want to do and also broke my heart a little. But still. This is a temporary setback.
John is applying for jobs. I got my CGRP injection today and am very lucky to be involved in that study which is something I never take for granted and need to remember is a major positive in my life. There are other positives as well: my volunteer work at the historical center, participating in the Youth Theatre Advisory Board, and my Etsy shop, which is continuing to provide me with satisfaction and a little bit of extra money.
The edges of things don’t always lead to pits of despair. If you can find the easier-to-descend slope, or the previously-hidden stairway, you can lead your children out of the harsh wind to a valley of lush green and calm.
And in the meantime, there is always hope.
And just right now an example of the magic John and I share, and why I believe we will always be O.K. : I sent him the above video just as he sent me the below.
I feel my luck could change.