‘Being tested by a ruthless examiner’

I had to go to the ER last night for the first time in 3 months with the worst pain I’ve had since my hospitalization last year. You can see how red and abraded my forehead is from heating pad burns and John’s tapping technique and my literally hitting it over and over with a…

How will the Opioid Epidemic Affect YOU? Click here to find out!

Ha ha ha, the blogger types bitterly, with no laughter at all in her tone. Did you like that click-bait title? I disagree firmly with the term “epidemic” in reference to opiates considering how many people die in mass shootings (and NOTHING is done! Restrictions are loosening!); from alcohol; from car accidents; from cigarettes. I…

My CGRP interview on Migraine.com

I always feel guilty when I return to the blog after a long absence, which seems silly. Like I need to explain myself. Life ebbs and flows  and I often find myself unable to do everything I’d like to be doing. I just can’t fit it all in, which I think is a pretty universal…

Migraine365: The Sumatriptan Series

In Fall of 1992, I believe, or maybe Spring 93, I took an Intermediate Poetry class with an instructor and poet named Tom Andrews. He was bald, soft-spoken. I don’t know if he encouraged me, after a number of missed classes and my explanation, to use my illness as muse; but then, I already had,…

Day 26, “everyday”

Today I woke up feeling like total crap. No one (including X) wanted to go to horse lessons, but I had to, because J has become very afraid of X riding. So I didn’t put any makeup or bra on and decided I wasn’t going to get out of the car. I felt awful. I…

On Second Thought

Maybe the Pain Management Clinic Will actually be beneficial. I like and respect Dr. S And she recommended this. The last two weeks have been brutal It is easy to give up hope But I did fight, and got this appointment And while I fear it will go badly There’s no reason to be upset…

Depletion

No one can help me. Not my partner Not my parents Not my friends Not my children Not my doctors Not my dog Not god. Everyone is tired At the end of the ropes with which I tie them to me. I am tired of asking for support Favors, babysitting, Rearrangement of schedules, For people…

~ thank you

I am amazed to have followers, in one day. Survivors whose blogs, chronicles of pain and triumph, I had already noticed and admired. The thoughtful comments on what initially felt like a frivolous post (changing the lyrics of a well-known song) show so much caring and community, understanding and acceptance of what is a tremendously…

Four "Medication Overuse Headache" Haiku

I had a rough draft written about how the Electric Cranium Stimulation machine did not work – that in fact, it seemed to injure me. That I went through most of my meds for the month fighting off the days of resulting headache. That I thought about how Dr T said that they no longer…

Anger, again

You can’t give up when you have children. On Wednesday, Mitt Romney visited the Community Center where I work. It was four days of intense, horrible, exciting insanity. The next day we all were worn out, with headaches, of course myself included. After being at work for only about 40 minutes, however, my head pain…

anger

Nothing makes someone with a migraine angrier than not being able to get the pill out of the fucking foil. I just ripped down the collage I put on the wall by my bed because I’m sick of lying here and staring at it all the fucking time. I’m sick of this room, this bed,…