An Empty Shell of Me

I am a melancholy, drifting mermaid, bedded in soft seaweed, whose head has inexplicably been invaded by the Russian navy on one side.
The other half… dead.

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Influenza Valentine

I’m a little… down. You know, that feeling in your core that alternates between emptiness, like nothing can fill it, and anxiety, like everything is bad. Since finally getting all the way off of Cymbalta and switching back to Zoloft, I rarely get very depressed anymore. Like the scary angry black hole kind where you…

“What’s this pumpkin doing here?”

I missed a lot of Cinderella’s final rehearsals. Being backstage with the kids helping with hair and makeup, assisting with crew and costumes, and just *being there* ~ pretty much my favorite thing ever. But I’ve been really sick with a long migraine attack / flare for almost two weeks, making me feel unreliable and…

Flashback Friday

I stayed in bed all morning. Yesterday I had to give myself a Sumatriptan injection first thing; the morning before I’d needed to take a tablet. No migraine this morning, but maybe postdrome. In a sort of desultory way I scrolled through Facebook. I don’t always check my “On This Day” memories, but I did,…

Mix Tapes: The Buckle and The 8th Floor, 1997 (20 Years Later)

I am going to add to this entry now. When I first wrote it, I was thinking more about The Buckle and writing for a more general audience, even though I was already discussing really personal things. I just didn’t want to get into the details of my hospitalization that followed. I just turned 44….

We Are Standing on the Edge…

I just basically want everyone to know that my family and I will be okay. Everyone has things that go wrong. Everyone gets sick. Everyone has trouble now and then with government red tape. People change jobs. All of it is possible to deal with and all of it is way better than losing a…

FRIENDS

Yesterday’s post was written in the throes of depression and fear. What I should never have said is that I lack friends. Yes, I’m disappointed to have recently lost some of the closeness I’ve felt in some significant relationships, but honestly I have more friends, far and wide, in person and online, than I probably…

But You Won’t.

I’ve been absent. I don’t really know what to say about it. While my participation in the CGRP Study has been amazing, and I have longer pain-free periods, somehow I end up in the ER more often. Everything in my life is changing. J had to resign from his job over unfair labor practices and…

The Magnificent Migraine Community

Searching for a meme or pertinent photo about #MHAM on Facebook a few minutes ago to use for this post, I happened upon my own status update from last year, sharing a link to the AMHA blog and stating “a little frustrating that more migraine sufferers aren’t participating in #MHAM.” Ironically, I am writing this…

Not So Silent

Two weeks ago today, my beloved dog Asia accidentally killed our new kitten. They had loved each other at first sight so I wasn’t as vigilant as I should have been while Asia was eating. I had every opportunity to pick Onyx up and move him out of harm’s way. I didn’t. I was the…

A Tree Grows In Ohio

Today I ended up getting the worst headache I’ve had in months, severity-wise. I haven’t been sleeping well and didn’t make it to the girls’ joint birthday party. And the dread and constant worry of poverty. Feeling really hopeless right now, and know my only job in the world is to make my children feel…