Migraine365 & Dr. Mitzi

My appointment today with Dr. Mitzi went very well. I explained that my headaches had improved in severity but not frequency, and that I’ve been having a lot of trouble with anxiety. She said she doesn’t often prescribe benzodiazepines, but that she would for me. I told her that I see a pain therapist twice…

My Body’s Betrayal – a prose poem

“I have no idea what I’m talking about / I am trapped in this body and can’t get out”  — Thom Yorke An empty husk, sunk into a permanent hollow in the flannel sheet and mattress A mattress that used to be his mother’s Everything here used to belong to someone else, myself included. Perhaps not…

Serotonin Stockholm Syndrome

For those of us struggling every day with chronic invisible illness, one of the most discouraging feelings is realizing that someone may not believe the pain we’re suffering. It might be the careless observation of an acquaintance (“But you don’t look sick”); the frustrated words of a well-meaning friend (“You’ve tried so many medicines and…

Good Things.

Very soon after I wrote the WWED entry, on February 18, things lined up in that magical way that sometimes happens, the way that makes me feel like the universe is letting me know I’m doing something right. It started with panic. I had a week or so left of my Ritalin preventative, no Ativan,…

WWED?

As I re-read the contents of this blog, spanning the past few years with several long gaps, varying degrees of anonymity, and accompanying various use of writing skill (along with good judgement or lack thereof), I wonder about the “lady” I’ve become. In real life, I’m not sure I am any longer a worthwhile friend,…

Upon The Loss Of Another Doctor

This job, the simple job of pretending we feel all right while hugging our spouses and kissing the tops of our children’s heads; of negotiating new doctors and treatment plans and insurance coverage and basically having to BEG for the basic care we deserve while burned-out advocates, as they occasionally must, slip away to their…

ER, Again

Asia is barking and anxiety yawning and upset. I am in my “Migraine Awareness” hoodie, pajama pants and heading to the ER myself once again. Waiting for my dad to take me there at around 6:15 pm. John thinks he’s getting out tomorrow, I think that’s too soon. They’re not even giving him any meds….

plus ça change

04.23.12Sigh of relief. My appointment with the attractive, young, and aloof Dr. “Manhands” went well. Even though he knew I would be seeing Dr. T in August, he still asked questions and put some thought into my situation. He asked whether I’d ever tried Lamictal, which is a mood-stabilizing anti-seizure med used off-label for migraine….

there’s a lady who’s sure

April 11, 2012 Dear Beth, Writing and relating to people are two skills I possess which I am inordinately proud of. I’m sitting at the Community Center right now, with very little time in between editing the Summer Programming Brochure and running the Facility Reports, knowing that my husband is coming to your Open House,…

mail

Yesterday I received both the Swatch watch entitled “Migraine” that john ordered for me; and the letter from my doctor about her departure from the practice (indefinite medical leave, it said).