Painfully Employed

Push, pull, bend, stretch, crouch, carry, crawl. Upstairs, light filters in and the peace is something you can almost hold in your hand were it not already grasping three plastic-coated hardbacks in a basketball grip or piano finger stretch as you skim the romance section L’s. Lauren, Laurens, Laurent. Lace and Leather, Last Chance, Let…

Advocate Fail

Why couldn’t I just have arranged the whole trip on my own? Just me, wearing my big girl pants (or skirt, usually) booking a flight, knowing I could hail a cab and get to the hotel on my own? Then, after the conference, get back to the airport and fly home. That is how all the other advocates do it. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

So, things are bad and scary. I still have hope.

So I do feel sort of protected by the universe. I do feel that every little thing is gonna be alright. I believe that my appointment today is going to go great, and my headache threshold will continue to stay lower, and that Dr. Dafer will agree to see me, and that when erenumab is released I will have access to it, and we either will or won’t discover the cause of the neuropathy but who cares.

Torrential

I am angry. I want to have control over something. I want this insidious, ghostly malificent Medusa in my head rooted out like weeds, evil black viney strands pulled out one by one and left in a heap on the floor like hair at a beauty salon. I want the snakes neutralized.

Influenza Valentine

I’m a little… down. You know, that feeling in your core that alternates between emptiness, like nothing can fill it, and anxiety, like everything is bad. Since finally getting all the way off of Cymbalta and switching back to Zoloft, I rarely get very depressed anymore. Like the scary angry black hole kind where you…

Bulbous Basilar Bolstering

The reason I’m going with such a cringe-worthy title for this post is because I want all these entries to be easily distinguishable as a “story,” or thread with a beginning and end and therefore similar titles. This is the end. This purpose of this piece is to celebrate the extreme, positively overwhelming support I…

Bulbous Basilar

I have a possible small aneurysm. I am a writer, I write, and I found myself posting long emotional diatribes on social media, particularly Instagram. X is now on Instagram. Her friends are on Instagram, all my theatre kids whom I love like family, and I realized that I could be terrifying them and making…

“What’s this pumpkin doing here?”

I missed a lot of Cinderella’s final rehearsals. Being backstage with the kids helping with hair and makeup, assisting with crew and costumes, and just *being there* ~ pretty much my favorite thing ever. But I’ve been really sick with a long migraine attack / flare for almost two weeks, making me feel unreliable and…

In The Eye of a Hurricane

I dropped my dance mom basket this week. The members of the youth theatre board on which I serve discuss wearing different “hats.” Because we are stage parents as well as administrative board members, we have to be careful to distinguish what role we are playing. If I am talking to another parent / board…

But You Won’t.

I’ve been absent. I don’t really know what to say about it. While my participation in the CGRP Study has been amazing, and I have longer pain-free periods, somehow I end up in the ER more often. Everything in my life is changing. J had to resign from his job over unfair labor practices and…