Day 24: Mommy and Me, by X (age 9)

This is X’s first Migraine365 page, and she was very excited. We had a great day. I was feeling really well; we got our t-shirts going for the project; our new washing machine delivered; john got caught up on sleep; and we were able to unexpectedly buy food. X and I went grocery shopping together,…

Brave Like My Zo

She did great today. There were some tough moments, mostly involving taking medicine, and she is struggling a bit now. But when she awoke from the anesthesia, she did not cry. “She hasn’t made one peep,” the nurse said when she came to get us.

Day 18: “brave like my mama” by Zo, age 5.

My precious five year old daughter, Zo, born by emergency c-section at 35 weeks due to bleeding placenta previa, who was a fighter and a miracle and a dream come true from the moment of her unlikely conception, who has had near constant strep since March and can barely eat due to the probably pus-filled,…

My Body’s Betrayal – a prose poem

“I have no idea what I’m talking about / I am trapped in this body and can’t get out”  — Thom Yorke An empty husk, sunk into a permanent hollow in the flannel sheet and mattress A mattress that used to be his mother’s Everything here used to belong to someone else, myself included. Perhaps not…

This sucks

I am alone and feel like I’m falling apart. We are both emotionally unstable and I am chronically ill. My beautiful girls are basically living with my parents right now while I am prostrate and in grief. What will become of us?

Another Little Piece of My Heart

I am going to have to take a break from blogging. It does nothing but get me in trouble, making things unbearable for me at work, punishing those close to me. I say again to the person who turned me in to my supervisor last year: FUCK YOU. And I will say the same to…

Little Girl X

Getting over the four shots of DHE I had yesterday, my stomach roils angrily and my head still hurts just enough to be annoying. I’m spending another day in bed, at least partially. Zo sleeps part of the night with us, invariably. So I was none too thrilled when X wandered in at 3 am…

Blind

*I usually don’t go for rhyming poetry, but this seemed to write itself today. John’s birthday was yesterday and by bedtime it had become particularly difficult. Sometimes, it’s true, migraines are emotional, stress and fear leaking from the heart to the mind. And so. New snow, that breathless bright white Usually brings joy, but some…

Blind

*I usually don’t go for rhyming poetry, but this seemed to write itself today. John’s birthday was yesterday and by bedtime it had become particularly difficult. Sometimes, it’s true, migraines are emotional, stress and fear leaking from the heart to the mind. And so. New snow, that breathless bright white Usually brings joy, but some…

It’s Raining Spoons

While some very stressful things are happening in my non-illness life, MAN have I had a couple of migraine days to die for. Some of the experiences require separate posts, like the fact that despite having moved to WordPress only a week or so ago, I have been nominated for a blogger award (Liebster coming…

Caregiver Burn Out

CRPS Shazz blogged a great WikiHow piece the other day called “How To Understand Someone With Chronic Pain.” I shared it with friends on Facebook, because even the most considerate and loving people in my life don’t get it – how can they? The last item on the list, screenshot below, just became extremely relevant…

Anger, again

You can’t give up when you have children. On Wednesday, Mitt Romney visited the Community Center where I work. It was four days of intense, horrible, exciting insanity. The next day we all were worn out, with headaches, of course myself included. After being at work for only about 40 minutes, however, my head pain…