I have a possible small aneurysm. I am a writer, I write, and I found myself posting long emotional diatribes on social media, particularly Instagram. X is now on Instagram. Her friends are on Instagram, all my theatre kids whom I love like family, and I realized that I could be terrifying them and making…
Dear Hospital CEO: a letter finally sent
Last year on March 1, I had an unexpected and devastating visit with the DO who had taken over as my primary care physician. She had done a lot for me: set up my first mammogram, referred me to an amazing pain specialist, and while I was in a CGRP study prescribed the other migraine…
The Meds of Medusa
As my neck is still horribly stiff and painful in a way that feels connected to the 9 day old migraine that was finally obliterated on the second floor of Wood County Hospital Friday morning at 10 am, I am sitting here thinking of the amount of medication it took to truly break it. In…
Blinded by the light
Feeling very bad right now. I expected a letdown, but I didn’t expect to be suffering the consequences of making a stupid mistake… can’t even sleep. Head hurts. Twin Peaks kind of sucked tonight despite the reappearance of the Log Lady. I am almost 44 fucking years old. I estimate 45% of that time has…
Withdrawing: on a video by Lisa Benson
Inspired by my friend Lisa’s video for Migraine.com, I wrote this post on Facebook. Now I am sharing it here as well because I think it’s super important. Lisa identified something that has been bothering me a lot lately, and partially prompted my last blog entry. It’s been a good week. The last day…
“What’s this pumpkin doing here?”
I missed a lot of Cinderella’s final rehearsals. Being backstage with the kids helping with hair and makeup, assisting with crew and costumes, and just *being there* ~ pretty much my favorite thing ever. But I’ve been really sick with a long migraine attack / flare for almost two weeks, making me feel unreliable and…
No one sings like you anymore
Trigger Warning: meandering discussion of suicide and substance abuse http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/chris-cornell-autopsy-and-toxicology-report-released-w484309 This RS article rocked me to my core, kept me up writing and thinking two nights in a row. Depression, trauma, substances. Stigma, shame, and suicide. First, the substances. Ativan is usually prescribed in 1 mg tablets. No matter how it is administered, 4 mg…
In The Eye of a Hurricane
I dropped my dance mom basket this week. The members of the youth theatre board on which I serve discuss wearing different “hats.” Because we are stage parents as well as administrative board members, we have to be careful to distinguish what role we are playing. If I am talking to another parent / board…
Professional Empowerment in the Realm of Disability and Invisible Illness
I had a weird feeling about it from the very beginning. Of course there was the initial excitement of being emailed by a national television producer, but that quickly gave way to anxiety that at some level hasn’t let up since March 1. Since becoming a writer and advocate for migraine.com, my personal blogging at…
Flashback Friday
I stayed in bed all morning. Yesterday I had to give myself a Sumatriptan injection first thing; the morning before I’d needed to take a tablet. No migraine this morning, but maybe postdrome. In a sort of desultory way I scrolled through Facebook. I don’t always check my “On This Day” memories, but I did,…
Thoughts on the inauguration of the NOTUS
Today I read a powerful blog post someone wrote called “Let the record show.” I linked to it; you should really go read it. I am not feeling very eloquent right now, and there’s no way I could communicate these thoughts any better than this author already did. The NOTUS, Narcissist Of The United States,…
Mix Tapes: The Buckle and The 8th Floor, 1997 (20 Years Later)
I am going to add to this entry now. When I first wrote it, I was thinking more about The Buckle and writing for a more general audience, even though I was already discussing really personal things. I just didn’t want to get into the details of my hospitalization that followed. I just turned 44….
